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Why don’t you tell me a story I haven’t heard. Life is like a book filled with lots of chapters and stories. But I don’t need a repetitive story just with different characters. I may have fallen but I can hold myself back and walk away no hard feelings cause things are here to stay. Memories last forever but the moments don’t so while I can I rather live it as it last

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Everyones life there is a story to tell. It can be a story of reality or a story of fantasies and fairytales, but that can only be determined by the storyteller. My story has a lot of ups and downs but thats how everyones’ life is. No ones 100% truly happy with things. Growing up I have always been an only child. Of course that usually means my parents watched over me more and more afraid something will happen to me or fall into the wrong group of friends. They do this because they care but sometimes they can go to far. I’m the kind of person who has hardly any space for myself. I feel like everything i do something is in the way. My individuality is missing my life and freedom is to. Sometime i feel like i am old enough to make the right decisions and if theres always someone babying me i can never grow up. Ever since i was little i had lots of hope and dreams. I worked hard hoping I can have a stable life. But that never happened. I try as hard as i can and when i fail i get lectured about things that people think interfered. Why do people always think i don’t work hard I do it just never goes as planned. When I started elementary school these were the start of the life i live today. The memories that can’t fully be erased and the pain i had to live with. My family was not like many others. There were always fights and screaming and I felt like i was to young so do anything. I guess we can say my depression has built up since. When i was young i was always yelled at. But as a kid you learn from the things you do. But failing when u didnt make the grade wasnt something to yell about. i tried and i just didnt make what i hoped to make.  I was a talkative kid when i was young but i always had the thought of running away. I never knew why i had that feeling but i still do. I guess when your young you think everyone was your friend you grew up with think since kindergarten and by the time you reached the third grade u knew things werent the same. People started to really choice friends and by the time fifth grade happened i knew i was the girl that was easy and alwayed used. There was this one person i met in the second grade and i guess out of know where i liked him and of course he hated me at times but somehow til this day he is the only person i can tell everything and anything too. Hes like a brother to me now and i guess thats good i can have someone to talk to and keep secrets with but i cant always rely on him for everything. In the fifth grade i made a few bad choices with the friends i hung out with. and i guess it was the right move to leave that group of friends and thats why i am who i am today not the druggy partying type of person. One middle school started things were literally shit. I knew no one and i was new to the school. I was the girl who was always picked on and judged. In the 6th grade thats when i started falling apart. I went though the phase of nothing being able to hurt me cutting myself and isolating myself. Over time things got better but of course my feelings came back. I knew i was a fragile and sensitive person but know was every able to see that side of me. I always hid my feelings trying to be happy everyday so people would stop spreading rumors but of course that never happened. I always wanted to leave this world cause i was tired of living with pain and annoyed with the things people said and everytime it got to me i would do something crazy. Highschool was the time i thought life would get better but i guess it didnt. I was still alone and used and the people I met all used me. I never really had a true friend i high school but that wasnt the important thing. I admit there were a lot of things that happened in highschool that made me where i am today. The people I hung out were never really friends and they people i called friends were all guys. I was never able to find a real group of girl friends that i can hang out with because they just weren’t the type of people i wanted to be around. I didnt want to be like all those popular rich kids cause that meant being materialistic and that not what i wanted. and all my friends we mostly guys cause that stuff didnt happen. I had friends i knew i shouldnt br friends with and i left that but the people i hang with basically gave up on me. My parents have always been really strict with who i can out with. and i know a few mistakes have lead to that but ive realized them. I need the freedom to explore my teen years. I see people always hanging out and parents letting them go but my parents treat me like a kid and even i have given up to ask them cause almost all the time i get no trust or anything and lectures about the same thing. I have hung out with people and not tell them and nothing has gone wrong after the mistakes ive realized but they make it seem like im still a kid and i know nothing. I wish i had the freedom of being a teen. I cant always be babyed cause if i am i would never be able to grow up. I want to be able to do my own stuff. but i always have to stay home and help around. its so hard to find friends if i cant do anything. I have a job to help me stay out of trouble but you cant use that against me and not give me free time. when do i ever have time for myself i never do. i know life isnt fair but as a teen i need space. I dont need people to control every move and thing i do. I dont need people to tell me to eat, sleep and do simple things im old enough to tell when i want to do things. i really feel like i have no life and my life is always controlled by someone and i cant make my own choices.